Can you teach me how to feel real?

Also, I'm very, very obsessed with "I Am Not A Robot" by Marina & the Diamonds. Actually, I've only heard the Starsmith remix of it, but I don't want to take away from the experience I have with that version. So I'll keep it that way for, like, 2 more days.

You know whenever you hear a song, and you feel like it was made for you, for you in that specific time and place? Made for you to understand why everything feels like it does. That is this song, I think. Or one of those songs, because I feel like that happens to me a lot.

You've been acting awful tough lately
Smoking a lot of cigarettes lately
But inside, you're just a little baby
It's okay to say you've got a weak spot
You don't always have to be on top
Better to be hated than love, love, loved for what you're not

You're vulnerable, you're vulnerable
You are not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

You've been hanging with the unloved kids
Who you never really liked and you never trusted
But you are so magnetic, you pick up all the pins
Never committing to anything
You don't pick up the phone when it ring, ring, rings
Don't be so pathetic, just open up and sing

I'm vulnerable, I'm vulnerable
I am not a robot
You're loveable, so loveable
But you're just troubled

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Can you teach me how to feel real?
Can you turn my power on?
Well, let the drum beat drop

Guess what? I'm not a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot

Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot
Guess what? I'm not a robot, a robot

Is there so much hate for the ones we love? Tell me, we both matter, don't we?

My brother sent me a text message last night, saying that he heard this song he knew I would know in a trailer, but he couldn't figure out who it was. It turns out it is "Running Up That Hill" by Chromatics. What a fitting, fitting song.

It doesn't hurt me
You want to feel how it feels?
You want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me?
You wanna hear about the deal I'm making
You, you and me.

And if I only could
Make a deal with God
Get him to swap our places
Be running up that road
Be running up that hill
Be running up that building
If I only could, oh.

You don't want to hurt me
But see how deep the bullet lies
Unaware that I'm tearing you asunder
There's a thunder in our hearts, baby.

So much hate for the ones we love?
Tell me, we both matter, don't we?
You, you and me
You and me, won't be unhappy.


Let's exchange the experience.

Starting a new job Monday. Haircut Tuesday (YESSSSS, goodbye, mullet).

I need something new. Some sort of new experience. New music would even be nice. But whenever I feel this restless... only bad things happen. I'm INSANE. Not really. Just an addict looking for a new high...

Too bad their show sold out Thursday.

After all that we've been through
I know we'll make it after the wait
The question is a truth
There is nothing we can't do
I'll see you along the way baby
The stillness is the move.

The dog days are over.

Song of the Month: "Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine.

I f-ing love Florence and the Machine. "Dog Days Are Over" is such an emotionally intense song... it made me cry the other week. Of course, I had just visited my grandmother, who was begging to let us let her kill herself, in the hospital, so... whoa, that was personal. Blame it on the alcohol.

Playlist of Sorts:
"Dog Days Are Over" by Florence and the Machine
"Courtship Dating" by Crystal Castles (This shit is banging)
"Animal" by Miike Snow
"Tune Into My Heart" and "Rich Boys (The Virgins Cover)" by Little Boots
"Keep It Goin' Louder (feat. Nina Sky and Ricky Blaze)" by Major Lazer
"Psychic City" by YACHT
"Heavy Cross" by the Gossip

All I have to say is, Wednesday was my last day off until WHO KNOWS WHEN. I'm going to feel oddly tired, and I hate feeling tired. Such a pathetic feeling.

Just keep drinking, just keep drinking...

I'm REALLY ready for school to start. Summer is the worst time of the year! I feel as though people's lives fall apart during the summer. At least mine isn't this year, but that doesn't make it any better. Ew... is that... empathy.. gross. F that!

(I'm a little drunk, so... this was a sorry update)