I love that your edges are rough, when you try to act tuff n' stuff.

SONG OF THE DAY: "Tuff n' Stuff" by Giantess.
The chorus of this song reminds me of something the Flight of the Conchords would sing. I've decided that the equation for this song is as follows:
Passion Pit + Flight of the Conchords = Dreamy electronic pop that compares love to one's "stash."

I've been in a bit of a musical rut lately. I can't find anything that really tickles my fancy. Or if I do find such songs, it's rather isolated.

You know, it's weird how relationships work, or don't work. I feel like I have a lot more to say on the matter, but I'm not exactly sure how to approach it. It's like, when a relationship ends and you still love that person for months after, even if they've treated you like absolute shit, you wonder what it is about them you truly love. It's not really the person, I think, it's the idea of them. The fact that they've had such a defining effect on your life. The whole nostalgia bullshit thing. It's the stuff that keeps you up at night, that leads us to those various forms of escapism. Why do we let people get to us? It's always good to come upon these revelations, even though I've had this revelation over and over again. But conversations about such things with people who are experiencing similar emotions is very productive and possibly more important than just deciding it in your head. It means you're not alone.

OH, OH. Song of the week!
"No One Does It Like You" by Department of Eagles.
I've seen this band on plenty of reputable music blogs, but haven't given them a proper chance, because I'm not really sure how I feel about Grizzly Bear and I think they've started some sort of movement in music that I generally haven't been able to get into. With that being said, this song is FANTASTIC. So, don't make the same mistake I've made, friends!

I've been feeling a lot more hopeful about life, and continuing to live it and what have you. I don't really know when the tides shifted, but it's just like, one morning, I woke up and it didn't hurt, you know? The next morning I woke up and felt good. It's really something that was, rather obviously, absolutely necessary before any more harm was done, but it also is very relieving in the fact that I don't have to wake up and dread what the day will bring. I can wake up and hope that it'll be better. It's a slow process (and one that would be greatly aided if I were still on my meds) but I'm glad I didn't give up. I wake up, I still have the same stress I went to sleep with, but it doesn't define my day any longer. These stresses don't define my existence. It feels great.

EVEN THOUGH I HAVE A MAJOR CHEMISTRY TEST TOMORROW THAT I CAN'T GET AROUND TO STUDYING FOR. Ughhh, I just have a dilemma as to whether I should try to stay up all night and study for it or if I should just go to sleep and wake up early and study. Every time I've gone to sleep, I haven't performed too great on the test and pretty much every time I stay up all night, I do rather well. But I really feel like someone could just wipe the floor with me right now, I'm so exhausted. I didn't even do anything today! Well... that's not REALLY true...

I'm beggin' you, don't go.

Song of the Day: "Don't Go (Diplo Remix)" by Paper Route Gangstaz featuring WALE.

God, Diplo. Remix the world for me, please.

So, this week... I fell in "love" with Fleetwood Mac's Rumours. Or more like, it became the soundtrack to a life that's meaning and purpose is disappearing. Withering away.

I don't know anymore. What are we fighting for? For that chain that keeps us together? I have so many questions that need answering, and so little time to answer them.

ANYHOO, um, music. Right? Isn't that the point of this blog? Or has the music become so interwined in my life that it's becoming hard to distinguish where the lyrics end and the blood trickles?

I feel like I need another trip or something. Or a cigarette. Or two billion cigarettes. I need a sugah daddy!

I'm gonna go donate blood plasma tomorrow. I hope I start training tomorrow.

Maybe I should start believing in something. Anything! I'll believe in anything.

If you don't love me now, you will never love me again.

SONG OF THE DAY: "The Chain" by Fleetwood Mac.

Listen to the wind blow,
watch the sunrise.
Runnin' in the shadows,
damn your love, damn your lies!

And if you don't love me now
You will never love me again,
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain.

One day we're gonna live in Paris. I promise, I'm on it.

SONG OF THE DAY:
"Paris" by Friendly Fires.
Another recommendation: "Lovesick." Reminds me of Justin Timberlake.

So I downloaded Amazing Baby's EP, and I don't know why some people compare them to MGMT. They sound more like.. Yeasayer or some kind of band like that, IMO. But maybe Yeasayer and MGMT sound alike. Dunno. I mean, anyway, the point is, I like them quite a bit and it's funny that everyone gets compared to MGMT now.

I wish I knew who was reading this. I get people who come almost every day, and I have no idea who they are! It doesn't freak me out, I just get curious.

UGH, school BLOWS. I hate Chemistry. Must study lots tonight so I can get a good grade on the homework and have a basic grasp on molecular geometry or whatever the fuck it is. Molecular geometry, that's REALLY going to help me when I try to help people for money (aka be a psychologist). I'm SO READY for this semester to be over. I could have done so much better, but I'm glad I haven't dropped out or anything. I'm worried about Music Appreciation, because I have to attend three concerts very soon, and I have no money! Money is seriously the largest stressor in my life. Makes me want to prostitute myself so I can buy cigarettes/concert tickets/beer.

I'm getting a MacBook for Christmas! :) My dad just ordered it. So happy about it. I'm almost looking forward to Christmas, which is rare, because for the past few years, I've had terrible Christmases. I've become very Scrooge-like around this time of the year.

You know what, I'm tired of having bad days. And long hair. Bring on the Blue Moon, plz.

But you move so fast, that I can't keep up.

SONG OF THE DAY: "Shooting Stars" by Bag Raiders.

This is yet another one of recommendations from Neon Gold, formerly Good Weather For Airstrikes. A perfect winter song.

UGH. I'm tired of being sick. Also, Blizzy is in heat and she's doing weird things. I think she ate a bunch of paper towels and threw them up on my El Greco poster. Methinks Eleanor was the one who took a shit in my bathtub. And the one who threw up on my bed this morning. The cats!!! Gahh!!!

I think God hates me. Really think he's got it in for me.

I love it when people read this blog and assume things. Like who I have feelings for. Hahahah, as if I would reference that in this. Anyone can read this! Silly goblins.

Just the memory of you, it feels like poison.

You know what I hate? When I have to plan drinking around the rest of my schedule. It's really starting to irritate me, like... why can't I be drunk ALL the time? It just doesn't make sense to me! I guess I forget that I can do other things all the time, but just not drinking. Hmmm... the quest to never be sober... it's a difficult one.

I don't wanna do school anymore. It's frustrating and makes me wanna get crunk even more. It's a neverending cycle! At least I get to schedule tomorrow. And I'll have money.

AND I have an interview at Macaroni Grill. Sup, bitches. Soon, I will have money. The kind of money that disappears after a week, instead of 3 days. I'm pretty excited about it.

Iz gettin' so drunksy tomorrow, and it's gonna be funny. I'm going to try this "Sparks" drink. It sounds dangerous. I like dangerous.

I'm serious, I'm going to start drinking IMMEDIATELY after my interview. I know it sounds like I have a problem, but the only problem I have is SCHOOL. AND I HATE CHEMISTRY. I have a test for it Monday, and it's starting to get on my nerves. I'm going to study all day Sunday, and I'm gonna fucking love it. I'm gonna love all those Lewis structures, resonance structures, all that motherfucking bullshit. I'm gonna eat, drink, breathe, and sleep electron configurations. I'm going to have nightmares about exceptions to the octet rule. It's gonna be fucking awesome. BECAUSE I HAVE TO GET A SEMI-DECENT GRADE. As long as I don't fail Chemistry, then I think I'm okay. I don't really know, though. Man, fuck school.

Song of the Day: "Help, I'm Alive" by Metric.